All About Rocky!

Hi everyone, I'm Rocky.

I don't know what the hell Misti and Kristi are talking about. I can’t identify with them in the least. I’ve always been surrounded by money. In fact, I used to have the maid sew together $100 bills into a 31.32” W x 64.1” L sheet just so I could dry myself off after a good steam in the sauna. Yeah, that’s a $12,000 towel you peasants.

Oh shit, that wasn’t me; I think it was a scene from Richie Rich…but probably a good sign that my skewed view of what I thought I should be was directly proportional to the amount of television I watched as a kid.

Being the only child of a middle/high school teacher (yes, the school was so small many teachers had to pull double duty, but I’ll get to that later) and a bank teller, I didn’t exactly have a lot of social interaction with kids my own age. Since we didn’t have a lot of money I couldn’t exactly buy my friends, and being the son of a teacher wasn’t necessarily conducive to open acceptance within the tight-knit farming community of which we attempted to plant our roots.

Most of my early memories…you know, the “formidable” years, were of me hanging out with my parents’ friends. And with no kids around of my age, I tried desperately to fit in with the adults. When that didn’t work, I would haul my lego’s from the closet and begin constructing for hours. Yes, that’s nerd with a capital N.

As I moved into grade school, I found that I was pretty damn good at sports, but more importantly the “good ole’ boys” of the town were much friendlier to me when they realized I could win games and bring glory once again to their one stoplight town. But deep down I was a guy more excited by knowledge with a crap load of talent who wanted nothing to do with the hunters and gatherers. So, I was athlete and mr. popularity by day, and by night I would dream of being rich, famous, and brilliant.

I began my exit strategy at an early age, with only one possible out…higher education; at the best (ivy leaguers cover your ears) STATE SCHOOL I could find. Hey, I may have had big dreams, but I was still small town people! Undergrad {check}…hmmm, still not satisfied…Grad School {check}….hmmm, still not satisfied….big time corporate America {check}….you get the picture.

With 2 degrees, a lot of work experience that doesn’t interest me, a whole shit ton of unresolved issues, and trying to reconcile my constant need for something more with just chillin’ the F out, here I am….Livin’ The Simple Strife