I used to be a nice girl. I grew up in a wholesome family on a wholesome farm in the very wholesome Midwest. I respected my elders, minded my P's and Q's, did my chores, and listened to my parents (mostly). I had a long-term boyfriend in high school, but being the good kids we were, we never did the deed. (For those of you who are a little slow, that means we never had The Intercourse.) You see, we were waiting until marriage, like all good kids should. We thought maybe we'd marry each other, and raise our kids the way our parents raised us. I am not joking one bit when I tell you that he already had 4 names picked out for our 4 children. At age 17 (and ask me if I've been able to find a man who will even considering having children since then. No.)
Well, things didn't turn out the way we thought it would. You see, I decided I needed to leave home and get me an edu-mu-cation in the big city. Part of me knew we wouldn't last. Part of me hoped we wouldn't last, because the biggest part of me felt like I was destined for something bigger than being a farmer's wife and raising 4 kids. Not saying there's anything wrong with that....I just knew in my heart it wasn't for me. So the fall after high school graduation, I packed up all my belongings, and my mother took me to college.
Anyway, that's about the time that I became what people back home might call a whoooore. And folks, it's only gone downhill since then. I don't know what it is (perhaps we can blame Sex and the City?) but the Misti of today just doesn't view sex like the Misti of the late 90s did. You see, recently I "accidentally" hooked up with a guy I've been friends with for a couple of years. I don't want to be his girlfriend, I know I'm not going to marry him....but I did have The Intercourse with him. A few times. Woopsies. The thing is, I don't feel that badly about it. I mean, why should I? Should I?
Shit. This is what I don't know. Farmgirl Misti would feel shameful about it. The Misti of today says "DAMNIT, I should be able to enjoy sex just as much as a man does, and if I want it and can get it, then why the hell not?!?" Right?
Have I lost my small town values? Am I doomed to Eternity in Hell? Jesus, Mary & Joseph would say I am. Me? I'm not so sure I believe in the big JC these days. What's a girl to do?
Keep shaggin' the hotty, you say? DONE AND DONE.
7 comments:
Shag on sister. Shag on.
Amen sister
I love pronouncing it "whooooooooooore."
Nothing is better than a friend with benefits!
Oh please let go of the old farm girl.. you wont regret it.
I left mine along side the road one day about 6 years ago while driving back to the big city from Small Town, WI. It was the best thing I could do.. I wave to her on my way by !
Maiden & Brian: Thank you for the support.
Peter: MEEE TOOOO. Do you ever watch "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia"? Danny Devito always says "your mother, the whooooore". Awesome.
JP: Yes, let's just hope the farm girl in me can leave it at "friends with benefits". That is my worry. Sigh.
Your small town values are still there - you're not shagging EVERY hot guy you see, and getting paid for it, are you? No! So let the "edumucated" version of Misti decide what you want out of life...not the 17 year old virgin version.
Dear Farmgirl,
Yes I actively encourage and promote promiscuity. I am also an advocate of unprotected sex - it is Gods true way of procreation. It is how I contracted the "syphillis" but I have become a better writer as a result and a better person - dont you think?
Prof Scrub
http://www.profscrub.com
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